How It All Came To Be, Baby
by RainbowRaven
Summary: Do you want to read of how our three great heroes came to be part of the Aloha Oe crew? How did Dandy get his ship? How did they all meet? Why does Dandy call himself "Space Dandy"? Why does Dandy take aliens to get Registered, besides the money? Why am I asking you? Why are you still reading this summary and not the story? Come give it a look! Also, please read Author's Note!


"How It Came to Be, Baby"

Dandy

My whole life I knew I wanted to be someone important. Someone special; a hero. I wanted a statue made to look like my sexy body, in dedication to "an epic dude who is really awesome". I wanted to be someone that kids, adults; even old people looked up to, someone whom they envied. In school, I always had my face hidden in a book of sorts-well, a comic book, normally, but every now and again it would be a novel on nefarious careers. I even searched the web for "cool job choices that will make me a hero". Mainly I obtained fictional things like: super hero, spaceman, comedian, assassin, and plumber.

Whatever, Baby. That's what I told myself. I could do something better, _be_ something better, more adventurous! So, when I finally graduated high school, still with no idea exactly what I wanted to do, I set off in search of meaning to my otherwise dull life. Sadly, though, I was without an aircraft of any sort, so most of my traveling was done in a rusty, beat up ole car. I remember being a young, stupid, naïve teenager and being so flipping exciting for that bucket of bolts, but now I see how lame it truly was.

I was driving (or what you could consider it) one day, searching as I have grown to do every day. "This is stupid," I murmured angrily, lips a tight, frustrated line, jaw clenched. My cheek began to ache from the strain of clenching. Slumping my shoulders, I continued speaking to myself, for there was no one else around to listen to my aggravated speech. I'd begun to talk to myself more and more as each day passed. Perhaps it was due to a subconscious loneliness that I refused to accept I felt sweltering in my chest.

"There's no way I could possibly do anything heroic in this ridiculous thing!" To emphasize a point I brought down my enclosed fist onto the dashboard, other hand still holding firmly to the wheel. This piece of junk may barely run, but at least it gets me where I need to go. Usually. As I retracted my fist, a subtle "puff, puff" sound started, and I physically grimaced. "No," I started, but it was too late. "No, no, no!" I could cry all that I wanted, but it would not stop the inevitable. My car began to sputter, and in that fatal moment, I knew it was the end. My heart dropped to my stomach, my face twisted. I slammed my foot on the gas so hard I was afraid it would break off completely.

Despite my pushing, the over aged vehicle jerked up, then stopped. Up, then stopped. Up, then once again stopped. I was propelled forward every time, my stomach crushed by the steering wheel, knocking the wind clean out of my diaphragm. I gasped, my own sputtering almost in unison with the car's. Eventually, when I was sure my spleen was reduced to a liquid substance; my rust pile on wheels gave one last shuddering cough and stopped completely. Promptly after black smoke arose from the engine, and all the energy I had left was put into a low groan.

"You've _got_ to be kidding." I aggressively rubbed my temples, a headache already beginning to pound against my cranium. I knew it would only grow in thunderous pain. Peaking my head out of the opened window I scanned my surroundings, eyes flicking over a foreign landscape. "Greeeeat," I droned halfheartedly. "This is just perfect. Totally perf-"

"Excuse me, young man." Began a decrepit sounding voice. I started, my back slamming against the gear shift. I winced, letting a shrill yelp escape my lungs. Cursing, I gazed out, slowly sitting up and trying to ignore the tremendous stinging sensation pulsing in my backside. Outside of the window stood this short, wrinkled old dude. He reminded me somewhat of an old raisin that was wrinkly before, but was then left in the sun for a long time and somehow miraculously acquired even more.

The top of his balding head was only slightly above the car door, and a few tusks of white managed to grow out somewhat miscellaneously. I quirked a dark brow, tilting my head a bit to the left. "Can I…help you?" I queried, eyeing the old guy fairly suspiciously. I accidentally drove into this weird area, my car breaks down, and now this prune shows up? If that doesn't ring weird, I'm not exactly sure what would.

"Actually, I believe it is _I_ whom should be asking. Now," He cleared his throat, making a raspy, gurgling-type noise that made me remember how I was seriously dreading getting old. "Can _I_ help _you_, young man?" I blinked, unsure exactly how to respond. 

After a moment of my vocal chords refusing to cooperate with my mental demands, I replied, "Uh, why would you need to-" I stopped myself midsentence, the situation I'm in sinking in. Emitting a low moan of realization, I nodded. "Yeah," I rubbed the back of my neck, somewhat out of embarrassment. "I guess you could. Look, I have absolutely no hope of an idea as to where I am, my car is a pile of crap, and my life is the most boring book anyone could ever read!" I hadn't necessarily meant to give out that piece of personal information, but I didn't really care if he knew about my tedious existence or not.

The old man seemed to actually ponder that. Putting an age spotted hand up under his chin, he rubbed at a bit of a whitened mustache. "You think that your life is boring?" I nodded, only really half listening. "Well, that is disappointing. Life should never be taken for granted… it is a beautiful thing, even in the ugliest of people."

I shot him a look. "Are you insinuating I'm ugly, old man? Because you have _no idea_ the hours that goes into just my _hair_! So, don't even say anything to me about-"

He began to shake his head, holding up his palm as a sign of surrender. "No, no. I meant inner beauty and ugliness-that of which I am sure you do not have. Do not be alarmed, nor angered. I come in peace." He chuckled then, as if his statement was a joke of sorts. My mind was growing discombobulated, for real.

"Life is a wondrous gift that many people, such as yourself, blow off as something miniscule, something so insignificantly boring that it seems almost not to matter. But do you not realize how unbelievably, unfathomably fragile life is? I went many years neglecting life, finding it dreary and nearly mind-numbing. Until one day it struck me how sensitive and precious living your life and living it well really is. Do you know what made me come to my senses?"

I shrugged my shoulders up to my ears, not having the slightest clue. Who was this guy? Why is he even talking to me? I wanted to politely ask him that, honestly, I didn't really care, and that maybe he should kindly take a hike and let me find my own way out of here, but I bit my tongue behind my teeth to keep it at bay.

"Young man, perhaps you should exit your vehicle. Besides," Another strained chuckle, "I doubt it will do you any good anymore." Unable to argue with that, though having some serious worries about this guy, I opened the car slightly and waited until the elderly man stepped aside so I could have room to open it further. Doing so I stepped out, one steal toed boot at a time.

"What? What made you realize how wonderful life is, or whatever?"

"Not whatever at all." He made a "tsk" sound with his tongue and waged a crooked finger. Now, being closer to him, I heard a subtle, underlying dialect that seemed almost covered up with due to years of being in another land, hearing and being smothered by other vernacular's. I couldn't quite decipher it, but was a bit too tentative to question him about it.

He came up to only a bit above my stomach, and yet he seemed intimidating. I mentally chided myself for being afraid of a little old man. "Look." He said, and bent down to lift up his right pant leg, raveling up the material. I recoiled. "Whoa, whoa, listen, I…"

The sight before me caused my sentence to trail off. His leg was gone completely, as far as I could tell. In its place was a robotic one. He brought it up and bent his knee, as if showing me that it did, in fact, work properly. I'm sure I looked dumbfounded, but for the life of me I could not bring up my jaw from my chest, which it had fallen to.

"A near death experience will do this to you, Lad. It was cancer. I had to have it amputated. I was never a religious man, but in that hospital bed I believe I prayed more than any clergy or pope. It was then I realized how delicate and magnificent living is. Learn now, my boy. Do not make the same mistakes I did."

I blinked, tears pooling into the corners of my eyes. "Wh-When did this happen?" I asked. I hated to persist with questions on a touchy subject, but the words tumbled before I could hold them back. Nevertheless he smiled, wrinkles forming around his mouth and eyes. "Only three years ago. Boy, I am an old man. It was much too late for me to have such a vital epiphany. But it's not too late for you."

"But…how?" I rubbed at my eyes, exasperated. "My entire life has been lackluster. I've been scouring everywhere to find excitement. Hell, to even find out what I want to do with my life. How am I supposed to suddenly figure it all out now?"

The old man held my gaze, unwavering. Without missing a beat he answered, "I believe that I have a solution to your predicament. Here, follow me." He folded his pant leg back down to hide the fake appendage, and then began to walk away without even looking behind to see if I was following. "This day has been crazy." I was only a few steps behind him.

He led me through a forest of sorts and through thick underbrush. Branches scratched at my sexy, bare face and twigs snagged at my clothes, ripping holes and making threads come loose. I grunted as I had to pull my arm free on numerous occasions. "Where are we going?" I asked at one point as my legs began to ache. I couldn't imagine how this ancient short man in front of me was holding up so much better.

"You'll see; just be patient." Was his only response.

Finally, after seemingly walking for hours we came to a clearing. "It's about time," I said, panting between words. "I swear, if you're actually some psycho that brought me here with some sob story just so you could sacrifice me to one of your gods, I'm so going to-" I stopped.

Right in front of me was a humungous, green space ship.

"What the-I-how could you-what is…?" I fumbled over my tongue, the color draining from my face. This was just too implausible. The old man laughed heartily, and instead of grimacing because of how throaty it sounded I felt a ping of sympathy hit my abdomen. "Just shut up and listen, Boy." He said, but without bitterness or anger. In fact, his tone of voice was quite light.

"After I was discharged from the hospital cancer free, I was a lot like you. Striving for exhilarating excellence, for a life to really live. And, Son, I found it. I found it in traveling through space and seeing everything. But, above all, taking aliens to the Registration Center."

I cocked my head to the side in confusion. "Registration Center? Aliens?" I hadn't the clue there was life beyond Earth. Oh, man, I began to speculate. Maybe he really _is_ mentally unstable. From seeing my confusion, he explained all there was to know. It took so long that I sat down on the ground to listen. As if I thought my legs hurt before.

When he was finished my brain was so crammed with information I thought it would overflow and all come pouring out from my ears. But nonetheless I took it all in to the best of my abilities. "I call my ship the "Aloha Oe", on account that I love Hawaii, and… those are where the sexiest babes are."

Either I was losing my mind, or an old guy just uttered the words, "sexiest babes". I couldn't stifle a grin nevertheless. "Well if that's the case, I'll be more than happy to call her Aloha Oe." I stood up, stretching my legs. They felt as stiff as a pole.

"Well, I would most certainly hope so, considering I'm giving her to you." I looked at him incredulously. "Wait… what?" Too many wacky events have befallen me today. I was definitely positive that my mind was unraveling. "Sit down," He said, gesturing back to the floor. The last thing I wanted to do was sit down once more and fold up my tender legs beneath me, but I figured I didn't have a choice.

I plopped down anyway and he placed his hands on the top of my shoulders. "Listen," He said, voice low. I had to strain my ears to hear him, and it was still difficult. "I'm going to be eighty-seven this year. My time is coming to an end, even without the cancer. Why should I let poor Aloha Oe suffer because of me? And I could not just sell her-I'd want to put her in good hands. I believe I have found just those hands to take care of her."

I stared into his grey eyes that I thought may have once been a brighter shade a blue. "You… You want me to _have_ Aloha Oe?" Like a lot of things recently, I couldn't believe it.

"Yes," He said with a nod of his head. "In fact, I want you to live your life. With my career of finding aliens and getting them Registered, I felt alive for once, despite the old age. But that could only go on for so long, and soon after I discovered my passion I simply could not pursue it further." I thought I saw a flash of pain in his irises, but it was dismissed before I could really tell.

Though, I bet there was.

"But, you? You're a young, healthy and attractive young man." I couldn't help but beam, if only a little. "I have all of my faith that you'll do just fine with Aloha Oe, and that you'll be as happy as I was. What's your name?"

I was taken slightly aback by the sudden question, but answered, "Dandy. The name's Dandy." That seemed to be funny, for he began to laugh. "Well, Dandy, with my baby soon you'll be a _dandy_ guy in space!" His play on words wasn't the slightest bit amusing, yet I still couldn't help cracking a smile.

"My name is Phil." He said when he finished laughing.

Pft, and he thought _my_ name was stupid? Oh, geez.

"I've tried calling myself 'Space Phil', but it just doesn't sound right. But… Space Dandy has a ring to it. Don't you think?" Grinning, I nodded.

"Yeah. You know what, it does. 'Space Dandy'. I like that."

I looked away from him and towards the ship that would soon be mine that went by the name of Aloha Oe, because Hawaii chicks are super-hot.

_Now my adventure can begin._

Meow

"You can't be serious, Mew," My mom said, Dad cradling her close to his side protectively. I sighed through my nose, trying to hide my irritation. "Listen, Mom, I'm sorry. But I just… need to go out, ya know? I need to see things, experience excitement, feel a thrill." I continued stuffing manga into my red knapsack. That's parents for you, I figured. They never really understand your methods.

"And you don't think you can do that here?" Queried my dad. I groaned, slapping my paw onto my forehead. "No," I managed through annoyance. "No, I can't. You two don't understand-"

"Then let us understand." My mom interrupted. I couldn't meet their sorrowful eyes, so instead I grabbed a _Sebastian Michaelis_ plush from where it had fallen on the floor and crammed it into the overflowing backpack. A _Hetalia_ t-shirt slipped out, so I grabbed it and shoved it back inside. This thing was going to be near impossible to zip up. "I can't let you understand something that you'll never really comprehend." I felt their eyes drilling a hole in the back of my head, but I did my best to ignore their saddened gazes.

"Look," I began, suddenly deeply bone-tired. "I know you guys won't understand. I expected that. But it's not like I'll be gone forever. I'll come back and visit you two, don't worry about that. But, you just… have to let me go. Just this once." It took all of my strength and willpower, but with raised shoulders and a heavy heart I turned to look at my parents. Their expressions were drawn down in worry and despondency.

My dad's hold on Mom tightened, and I clenched my paws. I never wanted them to be this upset, but it was my choice, and I chose to leave. If only they'd accept that. "It's not like I'm leaving forever." I said again, trying my hardest to lessen this verbal blow. Mom shook her head, leaning on Dad for physical support, as if he was a large, strong wall that could withstand anything, even his child basically telling him that life here at home has grown too monotonous.

"It really isn't either of you." I continued, rambling. I wasn't exactly sure what to say at this point. _It's not you, it's me. _Yeah, that would work wonders. It sounds like I'm trying to get out of a bad breakup or something. Saying that would be the equivalent of being mentally decapitated. "Haven't either one of you longed for some stimulation in your life that you can't get here? Some… some elation?" I searched their faces, but there was absolutely no sign that I had struck something within them.

"No," Dad said earnestly.

I shrugged then. "Well, that's your loss. But I need more meaning to my actuality. There's nothing you can do to stop that." I grinned, trying to lighten the mood up a bit. "Anime and manga can only get me so far, though it is a wonderful thing. Hey, maybe when I come back I'll be all dressed up in cosplay." I could tell by their befuddled expressions that, despite my constant blathering to them they still had no idea as to what cosplay was.

"Well, I guess this is goodbye." I slung the bag over my shoulder and groaned. _Crap, this thing is really, really heavy!_ As I turned from the door the sounds of objects thudding to a carpet floor made me stop short. "I… didn't zip up my bag, did I?" Looking to my parents, I say them shake their heads "no". I grunted; just my luck. I sat it back down on my bed that is now stripped of its sheets –which are adorned with the words _Fullmetal Alchemist_, but that has long since been packed.

I struggled with the zipper, my fingers aching with the strain. Praying that it wouldn't break I tugged and tugged, until finally it gave and zipped up a little bit more than halfway. Actually, I was surprised with the outcome. I thought surely it would break.

Hoisting it back up on my shoulders I trotted over to my bedroom door and came to a halt. "I'll miss you both." Silence fell into the room, smothering me in its awkward heat. I thought for sure I was going to melt with its intensity, but it was Dad whom broke the tension. "We'll miss you too, Mew." Despite myself, I smiled. Just one turn of the knob and I'll be outside, ready to hop in the miniature ship I could afford with what little money I had and I'll be on my way to a new life.

Feeling exuberated I clutched the porcelain knob and swiftly turned it, thrusting out without ever looking back. I did not lie, I will miss them. But every bird has to leave the nest sometime. Or, in this case, every cat has to wing off from family eventually. That is exactly what I was doing. Except with less actual winging because that involves a kitten not drinking milk from the mom anymore, and-

Anyway, as I walked outside I couldn't help but feel a bit discouraged by the tiny aircraft. It could only barely fit one person, and the color was a lifeless grey. But, I received what I paid for. The man working at the shop warned me that it might not go far, but I just need to _go_, so I shamefully took it. A cat's got to do what a cat's got to do, I suppose.

I decided that I should be thankful that I at least have a ship and move from there. I opened the door and climbed inside. The controls on the dash were as state of the art as a rotten shoebox, but I figured it would have to do. I pushed buttons, flipped switches, and soon (yet not soon enough) I was off and into the void of space.

It didn't take long before my ship began to falter, though. "Oh, no," I started, desperately pressing the wheel forward. This couldn't be happening- at least, not this quickly! I muttered a swear under my breath and looked about for a place where I could park. A planet or some sort of station. Anything, as long as I could rest my weakening vessel.

Just about when I was beginning to give up hope, a bright pink light caught the corner of my eye. From my peripheral vision it appeared to be some sort of service area. "Excellent!" I cheered to myself, almost hysterical with relief that my craft now won't just plummet into nothingness for all eternity. That would surely put a damper on my plans.

Shakily, I managed to reach my destination before the ship totally broke down, equipped with sounds of struggle and oil leaking from behind. When I jumped out, pretending that the wrecked garbage pile wasn't my own, I squinted to read a bold sign above me. "Boo…bies?" I pondered, rubbing the top of my head under my hat. "Boobies. Huh. Seems classy enough." I chuckled to myself. "Might as well check it out. I have a feeling I'll be here for a while." I took one last nostalgic look at the liner, visibly flinching when it rumbled and a puff of dark grey smoke came from the back, along with a splash of jet black oil.

Shuddering, thanking whomever may be out there that I managed to get here before it was too late, I made my way inside this 'Boobies' establishment. How bad could it be?

Happily, knowing this isn't the end of a long line of exciting happenings, I couldn't help but think; _Now my adventure can begin. _

QT

"Get back here!" The mean, mean man screamed from behind with much bellicose.

"No!" I shouted back, determination propelling me forward as fast as my wheels could go. My long, robotic arms fell behind me, but I didn't really mind it all too much. In fact, I didn't really think of anything else other than escaping that madman. So what if he was the man who created me? I didn't care; he was a cruel human being, and I refused to be his slave drone any longer!

"QT, I made you who you are! _What_ you are! Do you honestly think anyone will accept you? You're just-just… just a machine! A heartless machine that can't feel, that can't love. No one will ever like you! Just come back to me. I'll forgive your reckless foolishness. Just come back here!"  
"No!" I cried once more. I knew he was lying, and I knew he was wrong. He _had_ to be. Just because he made my outer shell doesn't mean he made my inner one, too.

If I was heartless, I wouldn't be able to feel the immense amount of adrenaline and fear that coursed through my wires. I wouldn't be able to feel the worry from the possibility of working for that man again, and I wouldn't be able to feel the sadness that I do, just in case something he said could be correct.

I've seen aliens of all sorts of shapes, sizes, races, genders, species, and colors-if people that outlandish looking were perfectly alright, then why wouldn't I be? What's the different? Simply because I'm a robot shouldn't mean anything. I have feelings just like everyone else, so the fact that I'm made with parts instead of skin shouldn't matter. Should it? I hoped not.

The man-my creator's-vehement hollering began to cease, and it was in that moment that I knew he could not outrun me. Though my wheels _were_ beginning to grow sore, I could go for hours more, surely. But with his human legs, I was sure he couldn't endure hardly any more. I thrived on that propaganda and continued forward, never vacillating for even the slightest millisecond, and most certainly not looking back. I was going to make a new life, one where I was my own person.

Perhaps I would even be a part of a group of sorts. That would be the absolute best!

With a mission set into my brain chords I sped faster, losing the sounds of his belligerent yelling, finally. Still, I whirled a few more yards before I stopped, resting my tired, throbbing wheels. Well, I'm sure they'd be throbbing. Somehow I still felt the pain as if I was a human who had been excessively running instead of a robot that had been rolling for miles. "He was wrong," I breathed, out of breath even though I could not physically intake oxygen. "I can feel… and right now… I don't feel so well."

Still, I was free, so there was no time for complaining.

I was my own man now-er, android? Whatever, it did not matter. Now, I am permitted to do whatever it is that I please. I am irrevocably unrestricted. I made my display screen smile in broad happiness. _Now my adventure can begin._

Thus concludes the tale of our three heroes; Dandy, Bonehead, and QT. Yes, most definitely, this is how their adventures began. Dandy found Meow in Boobies after he had taken the Aloha Oe and driven it around for a spin. When he stumbled upon said hooker-like institution, well, he was overflowing with merriment. Then, discovering Meow he thought he was his very first alien that he could take to the Registration Center.

But, as luck-or fate-would have it, Dandy realized how lonely he would be if Meow did not accompany him, so instead of getting him Registered for all of that money, he instead gained a loyal member of his crew. Later they came across QT, and soon enough he, too, was a part of the Aloha Oe team.

Eventually they became a terrible-oh, I mean, a _tremendous_ trio, and still fly on to this day.

Indeed, this is how it call came to be, Baby.

{Author's Note: Please, please, _please_ read! Thank you. Alright, this took me _forever!_ What with the editing and my computer not working half the time and changing ideas and coming up with new ones… this was originally going to be an even longer, more drawn out chapter story, but I like this a lot better. I know Dandy's was the longest, and at first I didn't intend for that, but oh, well. I figured since he's the number one main character it wouldn't matter all that much.

Besides, if you didn't love Dandy you probably wouldn't be on this side of FanFiction, anyway. I'm glad I didn't do the hundred or so chapter thing. But I apologize if it seems rushed or isn't quite as detailed when it gets to Meow and definitely QT, but it's three o'clock in the morning, and I've been writing this on and off for hours.

But I sincerely hope you enjoyed, I really did work hard on this. I'm also reeeeeally sorry if some things don't add up to the show, or if something seems AU, or… anything of that sort. I haven't seen a whole lot, but what I have seen I have totally just adored, so I couldn't stop from writing about how this epic group of awesomeness started out.

Alright, well, I think that's it. No flames or anything please, and if you could review, that would be more than awesome. Also, if you want to see more like this, tell me and I shall oblige. Writing is my passion and I hope to do it forever.

Live long and remember; The boobies at Boobies go up and down, up and down, up and down…}


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